Sexual Satisfaction or Abuse in Indonesian Unofficial Marriages?

KOMPAS.com - Unregistered marriage, or dubbed siri marriage, is one of the topics in the religion court's draft of marriage. The draft initiated by the government  is being discussed dealing with 2010 National Legislation Program that mentions a criminal punishment for unregistered marriage. EL, an observer of women's issues, stated that women are often disparaged, and men tend to be irresponsible toward the women they marry without legal binds.

It's fact that, without legal binding, an unregistered marriage tends to harm the wife and children. Many cases have proven this, such as undefined rights and abandonment. Sexual and physical abuse are also quite common in these cases.

EL explains that three factors often become the cause of unregistered marriages: money, physical appeal, and charm; and these three factors work not only on naive women who lack information. Even educated and well informed women could fall for them, especially the money factor, because they want to live comfortable and rich lives. While for men, the reason is often because they're not satisfied with their legitimate wives, whether physical-wise or sexual. Some married men claim to be single to trap women into an unregistered marriage.

"The deceived women then would have trouble locating their husbands, because there wasn't enough information about his identity." She also stated that because of the three factors mentioned mostly women in an unregistered marriage tend to be submissive to the whims of their husbands. It wouldn't be fair if the criminalization of an unregistered marriage is generalized to all parties involved. Many cases prove that women are the victims. The lack of legal binding also makes such cases hard to process in a court of law.

So far, the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) actually doesn't acknowledge unregistered marriage or marriage by contract, but it calls it as a secret marriage which is not recorded at the Religion Affairs Office. The MUI considers this a sin only if it victimizes someone. As for the Nahdlatul Ulema (NU), their central board agrees that unregistered marriage should be sanctioned, but the sanction should be civil insteal of criminal.

EL advises that our society should change our mindset about women's rights, the culture that places women as dependant subordinates, and the illusion of a luxurious life. Those are the root problems. (C1-10/C17-09)