Marshanda: Satu Hal yang Paling Menyakiti Perasaanku...

JAKARTA, KOMPAS.com - Artis peran Adriani Marshanda memutuskan bercerai dengan Ben Kasyafani pada 23 April 2014.

Setelah bercerai, hak asuh putri Marshanda dan Ben Kasyafani, Sienna Ameerah Kasyafani, jatuh ke tangan sang ayah, Ben Kasyafani.

Hal yang disesalkan Marshanda adalah ketika dirinya tak lagi bisa hidup bersama buah hatinya, Sienna.

"Satu hal yang paling menyakiti perasaanku adalah saat aku kehilangan hak asuh Sienna," kata Marshanda saat ditemui di kawasan Kelapa Gading, Jakarta Utara, Minggu (22/9/2019) seperti dilansir dari Grid.ID.

Baca juga: Nama Marshanda Disebut, Baim Wong Cekikikan Tiada Henti

Meski demikian, di sisi lain, Marshanda merasa hal itu merupakan sebuah risiko dari keputusan yang diambilnya.

"Aku menghormati Ben dan itu keputusannya, karena memang dia yang aku gugat (cerai)," ujar perempuan yang akrab disapa Caca tersebut.

Marshanda juga mengaku tak menyesal atas keputusannya bercerai dari Ben.

Baca juga: Gara-gara Nenek yang Susah Move On, Baim Wong Minta Izin ke Paula Bertemu Marshanda

"Saat aku memutuskan untuk bercerai (dengan Ben Kasyafani) tidak ada keraguan sama sekali dan tidak pernah menyesal sampai sekarang," ujar Marshanda.

Meski sudah bercerai dengan Ben, Marshanda masih bisa bertemu Sienna.

"Aku boleh ketemu sama Sienna pas weekend dan kalau weekday itu saat pulang sekolah," ucap Marshanda.

Baca juga: Reaksi Paula Verhoeven Saat Baim Wong Disebut Masih Cinta Marshanda

Marshanda kerap mengunggah fotonya bersama Sienna di akun instagram pribadinya.

Selain itu, foto-foto tersebut kerap diunggah dengan keterangan kerinduan pada sang anak yang sangat menyentuh.

Seperti contohnya pada Minggu (15/4/2018), Marshanda menulis sebuah puisi sedih berbahasa inggris pada akun Instagram-nya, @marshanda99.

Sebagai ibu, Marshanda merasa sedih dan bersalah karena tidak bisa selalu bersama dengan Sieena.

 

 

 

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-Part 1 of 2- . What can I do I am guilty Of losing you. . What can i do I am guilty Not blaming my illness but that is my weakness. . I got lost. And nobody wins when they tried to save me from falling. I had to fall. Says God. . And until today I cant see why I had to. Cause it got me losing you. . I am guilty and I am ashamed. People talk about me behind my back. Saying I can’t bear sanity. I can’t bear life. Because I am ill. . And now what should I do. When all I can think about is the thought of losing you. My daughter. . And I miss you, everyday. And I cry for you, everyday. I am lost. And in this case I am lost forever. . I can only hope and pray for miracle. I dont even believe that I still deserve the feeling of hope. I’ve made too big of a mistake. . I am left with questions and tears. I saw people around me. Being allowed to be with their children. Pushing me far away from the right self-concept I am supposed to have about myself. Pushing me far away from seeing myself as a capable human being. Capable of being a mother. . I have lost. I’ve lost you and I lost everything. And I‘ve forgotten how to have hope. Tried to understand this chapter of life. And I can’t understand a thing. The inner wisdom I usually find in me, is in silence. . God help me. I am lost. I am ashamed. What are You trying to tell me? I am lost. And everybody talks behind my back. About how it is normal for me to lose. How it makes sense. . So I just try to bear with the thought of living with my worst self. The incapable human. The inadequate parent. The one nobody can trust. And carry on. And carry on. And carry on. . . #motivation #honesty #vulnerabilityispower #vulnerabilityisstrength #positivity #empowerment #marshedpoem #marshedQuote #enlightenement #motivationandpositivity #innerstrength #innerpeace #intellectualhearts

A post shared by ???????? MARSHANDA (@marshanda99) on Apr 15, 2018 at 8:15am PDT

"What can I do/ I am guilty/ of losing you... What can I do/ I am guilty/ Not blaming my illness but that is my weakness...." tulis Marshanda.

"I got lost/ And nobody wins when they tried to save me from falling/ I had to fall. Says God/ And until today I cant see why I had to/ Cause it got me losing you," tulis dia lagi.

Marshanda, yang tenar saat memerankan karakter Lala dalam sinetron Bidadari itu merasa bersalah dan malu. Banyak orang berpendapat bahwa ia tidak bisa mengatasi penyakit mental yang dideritanya.

"And I miss you, everyday/ And I cry for you, everyday/ I am lost/ And in this case I am lost forever," tulis dia.

Melalui puisinya, Marshanda juga mengungkapkan kesedihannya melihat ibu-ibu lain yang bisa bersama anak-anak mereka.

"I am left with questions and tears/ I saw people around me/ Being allowed to be with their children/ Pushing me far away from the right self-concept I am supposed to have about myself/ Pushing me far away from seeing myself as a capable human being/ Capable of being a mother," tulisnya.

Dalam puisi itu, Marshanda merasa tidak punya harapan karena kehilangan putri tercinta.

Ia merasa tidak bisa memahami kehidupannya.

"God help me/ I am lost/ I am ashamed/ What are You trying to tell me?/ I am lost/ And everybody talks behind my back/ About how it is normal for me to lose/ How it makes sense," kata Marshanda.

Namun bagian akhir puisi itu, justru menyiratkan bahwa Marshanda berusaha berdamai dengan kondisinya. Sebab, perempuan yang akrab disapa Caca itu diketahui memiliki gangguan bipolar.

"So I just try to bear with the thought of living with my worst self/ The incapable human. The inadequate parent. The one nobody can trust/ And carry on/ And carry on/ And carry on," tulis Marshanda. 

Artikel ini telah tayang di Grid.ID dengan judul Tak Menyesal Bercerai dengan Ben Kasyafani, Hal Ini yang Justru Menyakiti Perasaan Marshanda

Penulis: Rissa Indrasty